venixam asked: I was wondering, why do you sometimes tag your posts with "OC"?
Everything with that tag comes up when you click the link labeled ’My Posts’. It’s short for Original Content. Whilst not everything on there are posts I wrote myself/my own pictures, I will have made a comment on it, or very occasionally a post is so relevant to me I feel no comment is needed. I set that link up because I used to post alot more then I do now (200-300 posts a day compared to 50-100 nowdays) and I felt it would be very difficult for anyone to get a sense of my personality from just reblogged pictures so now you can see what I have to say about various posts and see my personal posts too :)
Anonymous asked: (same anon that told you to be more positive) Try to think of the things you like about yourself or what you are able to do and not about the bad things. I can tell you that I think you are beautiful and nice. Keep in mind that your friends would say the same. Try to push the bad thoughts away hun xx you can :)
Anonymous asked: We don't know each other, but I just want you to know that even though we haven't met each other... or held each others hand... or cried on each others shoulder, that I love you and to be strong.
Oh, I don’t know what to say, thank you lovely, I appreciate this message a lot and I hope you’re well and wish you a happy new year ♥ xxxx
Anonymous asked: (same anon from before) jan/feb are also really bad for me too, weight loss adverts on the TV are triggering as FUCK and when they're on my mum always turns to look at me accusingly, but she'd never say it to my face... if you see what I mean. I know you have a difficult rel with your folks and I do too so I hope they don't get you too down because you are so awesome and they don't deserve you xx
Those ads trigger the fuck out of me too, that plus the whole world starting diets and talking about it non-stop ARGH
I can’t imagine my parents would say anything to me food-wise, I’ve gone from a UK size 14 down to a 6 and all sizes in between without a word being said so I doubt they’d even notice tbh *shrugs*
I hope your mums nicer to you too hun, god knows it would make life a little easier huh? *hugs* xxx
Anonymous asked: Sweetheart you are gorgeous, and I mean that in the least creepy weird way I can as an anon person :P as someone with an ED I believe in you and I hope you're doing ok. you seem like such a lovely person in your personality and you're also really pretty, I hope you have a happy new year xx
That honestly didn’t sound creepy at all, don’t worry anon! Thank you so much for this lovely, I’m glad you don’t read my blog thinking I’m a massive asshole, that’s always nice to hear! :)
I’m hoping I’ll be able to sort my shit out in the new year but honestly January and February are always BAD for me (so many weightloss ads on tv and pressure to lose weight in time for my birthday) so I’m not sure, we’ll see :/
Anonymous asked: I want to to know that you're beautiful and absolutely not fat. Please don't always tell yourself that you NEED to be skinny or thin. It's a whole other thing to want to lose weight than telling yourself that you're not thin enough or even fat. Try to think less negative as hard as that may seems. if you want to lose weight that is your thing and I'm not saying anything against it but PLEASE do it in a body positive way or you'll end up hating yourself even at you goal. Hope you think about it x
This is sweet, thank you! I DO try to think positively, my weights actually been fairly stable for the past couple of months. But I don’t think its about losing weight at all, its about ‘fixing’ myself, having a sense of purpose and control ect… the real cause of my issues is something I’ve either been unable or unwilling to unravel.
I find it so difficult to separate the feelings of not being good enough and having to perfect myself from what my motivations are and why I associate losing weight with improving myself, can’t see the forest for the trees I suppose. You’re right though, the way I’m going I will end up hating myself even if I reach my goal, I find the closer I am to my goal the more I hate myself :/
Anonymous asked: I'm sorry they don't understand. They're parents. Ya know. I'm sure they care just away much as you wish they did. It just doesn't always come off the way they wish. I'm sure it's hard for them. I know how you feel.
I’m sure it’s hard for them having a daughter they didn’t really want or understand. I don’t want them to think the sun shines out if my butt, I just want them to see that not all people show love and affection in the same way, is that so much to ask?
Anonymous asked: I want to kill myself. I'm tired of everything... I can't be ok. I can't be happy. I don't know what else to do. I'm feeling desperate. I've tried even self-harm that it's the thing that I hate the most in the world. I just wanted to tell someone.. I just needed to talk. xx
Well what DO you want to do anon? Remember, you always have the option of walking away from everyone if they don’t understand you or if your surroundings make you unhappy. What would you want to do? What would make you happy in an ideal world? What’s bothering you now? Once you find the answers to that, you can start fixing them.
At the very least, the way I see it, we will all die and there’s pretty much a 100% chance you’ll experience something worth living for between now and then so we might as well see what that is right?
Anonymous asked: I know they don't. But this is about you. What can I do to make it better?
Erm, idk, tell my parents that compassion for other people is critical for people treating each other well and that you’ll get along with others much better if you make an effort to understand them- INCLUDING your own family?
Anonymous asked: I'm sorry lovely. I know the same feeling. I push people away all the time. I'd rather be alone than have people down my neck about what's wrong with me. Considering no one really cares about me anyway.
I’m sure they care, they just expresses it in a way that incompatible with the way we feel about things and can come across as insincere as a result. I don’t judge then for rubbing me the wrong way and yet they can’t do the same for me?
Anonymous asked: Hi. I'm here to keep you company. What's on your mind?
Hmmm, I’m sad atm because I make so much effort to understand my parents and forgive them for their flaws and yet they won’t do the same for me.
I live with my dad now cos my mum kicked me out and he SAYS he likes having me live there only he’s upset with me for being myself.
He has me living with him and he doesn’t like it- otherwise he wouldn’t be disappointed with me and want me to change.
I don’t often miss people, I won’t call or text if you don’t text me first, I don’t talk about my feelings, if I’m angry or depressed I shut myself off, my friends accept that about me but my parents think it means I’m purposely rude and difficult to live with.
Even if I try my best to do whatever I can to make them happy they just can’t seem to see that and even if I clean the house from top to toe, never party or mess up the house, and basically don’t do those things that problem kids do, they get upset with me because they think I don’t care. And then treat me badly for it.
Whilst I can accept my dads stubbornness and my mums straight up craziness then why can they not accept me? It upsets me that I’m the only unacceptable person in the family.